I recently visited Peace, Love and Little Donuts in the Harris Teeter shopping center at Sweetwater in Apex and found the experience unexpectedly fascinating. The donuts are delicious, freshly prepared, and remarkably small, possessing dimensions ideally suited to efficient insertion into one's grocery hole with minimal flange contamination. This is an underappreciated ergonomic advantage, particularly when excessive donut diameter can result in undesirable frosting transfer to the surrounding facial architecture.
What particularly impressed me was the production methodology. Rather than maintaining an inventory of fully decorated donuts, the establishment uses a uniform fried dough substrate and applies toppings individually according to customer specifications. It's a wonderfully efficient arrangement, and I found myself captivated by the possibilities.
The more I considered this process, however, the more I began questioning the necessity of the donut itself.
The innovation is clearly the finishing operation. The donut is merely a convenient substrate possessing sufficient structural integrity and surface area to retain frosting, glaze, and particulate embellishments. Surely other objects could fulfill these requirements.
A dinner roll seemed reasonable, although its unfavorable bread-to-topping ratio concerned me. Italian sandwich bread offered greater surface area but introduced structural instability under heavy frosting loads. A baguette appeared promising, with its rigid exterior and elongated geometry.
But a baguette still requires a customer to hold it. And that was when I realized conventional baked goods were limiting my thinking.
Gloves.
A pair of Isotoner driving gloves would offer excellent dexterity, reasonable coating retention, and continuous consumption while walking around Sweetwater. Imagine supple driving gloves treated with Salted Caramel Macchiato, allowing the wearer to enjoy periodic flavored applications simply by raising a hand to the mouth. No box, no napkins, no interruption of one's afternoon activities. Just a pleasant stroll punctuated by discreet licking.
I privately designated this the "Walk and Lick" model.
Winter gloves offered even greater potential. Blueberry Pancake on insulated fleece could provide a delightful breakfast experience, while Oreo Cheesecake seemed particularly suited to deeper fabric textures. Unfortunately, individual fingers introduce coating discontinuities, and frosting trapped between them presents significant recovery challenges.
The problem, I realized, was architectural.
Mittens. Specifically, furry snow mittens. The extraordinary surface area of synthetic fur would permit tremendous topping retention, while eliminating the inefficient gaps between individual fingers. A thick pair of faux-fur mittens could theoretically accommodate astonishing quantities of chocolate glaze, crushed cookies, and candy fragments. Robert BrƻlƩe seemed especially promising, as caramelized sugar might provide structural reinforcement around the underlying mitten, although repeated licking would necessitate additional materials testing.
I imagined strolling past Harris Teeter on a crisp winter morning, periodically raising a magnificent, sugar-encrusted paw to my face and licking it with the quiet satisfaction of a bear that had discovered an unattended bakery.
An ambitious customer might select Maple Bacon on the left mitten and Strawberry Cheesecake on the right, alternating hands to maintain palate diversity. Pressing the mittens together could produce novel flavor combinations, although cross-contamination would require careful management.
The donuts themselves were delicious, the flavor combinations delightful, and the customization process genuinely impressive. Five stars without hesitation.
I remain convinced that the future of portable confectionery lies not in the donut, but in the development of a sufficiently absorbent glove.
Peace, Love and Little Donuts has already solved the difficult part. The remaining challenge is the mitten.
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